Spanked Children May Grow Up to Be Happier, More Successful
Imagine this: a biblical principle that actually works! Spanking works. I am walking proof. While every child has their moments, if a parent uses a spanking the way it should be used, it's effective.
Here is my definition of a proper spanking: the child is old enough to recognise that they have done wrong (never spank a kid who doesn't understand what they've done isn't right), never spank in anger (if you're mad, don't even think about disciplining your child, cool down before you deal with it), explain to your child why they are getting the swat (don't just spank if the kid doesn't know why), don't wait too long to spank (kids forget - discipline while the issue is still relevant) above all, let your child know you love them and that they are receiving the discipline because of that, not because you're mad about something they did or didn't do.
This is how spanking worked when I was a kid. I think I even remember one occasion where one of my siblings had been spanked out of anger an my parents apologised for it.
Too many times I've seen parents strike their children out of anger and/or frustration. It's no wonder that there are activists lobbying to ban spanking all together. Just the other day I saw a woman in the mall with two small children. She had her hands full of bags and coats and I can only assume that the two kids were to be holding each other's hands as they followed her through the food court. I didn't even see what caused it, but at one point, the woman dropped everything where she was, stepped back, grabbed one of the kids and layed the smack down. I was embarassed for the woman and for the kids. From the expression on the kid's faces, though, this wasn't a new experience. I don't care what time of year it is or how stressed out a parent is, that's not discipline, that's abuse. I feel for the kids who receive such public discipline. How a parent raises their kids is something that ought to be done in private, not in the middle of a mall food court at noon.
In case you're confused as to where I stand, it's here: spank away, you loving, controlled parents. To you parents who are stressed and frazzled beyond belief, keep your hands in your pockets and save the discipline for a time when you're calm, relaxed and thinking clearly. Your kids will thank you for it. I know I've thanked my parents.
Imagine this: a biblical principle that actually works! Spanking works. I am walking proof. While every child has their moments, if a parent uses a spanking the way it should be used, it's effective.
Here is my definition of a proper spanking: the child is old enough to recognise that they have done wrong (never spank a kid who doesn't understand what they've done isn't right), never spank in anger (if you're mad, don't even think about disciplining your child, cool down before you deal with it), explain to your child why they are getting the swat (don't just spank if the kid doesn't know why), don't wait too long to spank (kids forget - discipline while the issue is still relevant) above all, let your child know you love them and that they are receiving the discipline because of that, not because you're mad about something they did or didn't do.
This is how spanking worked when I was a kid. I think I even remember one occasion where one of my siblings had been spanked out of anger an my parents apologised for it.
Too many times I've seen parents strike their children out of anger and/or frustration. It's no wonder that there are activists lobbying to ban spanking all together. Just the other day I saw a woman in the mall with two small children. She had her hands full of bags and coats and I can only assume that the two kids were to be holding each other's hands as they followed her through the food court. I didn't even see what caused it, but at one point, the woman dropped everything where she was, stepped back, grabbed one of the kids and layed the smack down. I was embarassed for the woman and for the kids. From the expression on the kid's faces, though, this wasn't a new experience. I don't care what time of year it is or how stressed out a parent is, that's not discipline, that's abuse. I feel for the kids who receive such public discipline. How a parent raises their kids is something that ought to be done in private, not in the middle of a mall food court at noon.
In case you're confused as to where I stand, it's here: spank away, you loving, controlled parents. To you parents who are stressed and frazzled beyond belief, keep your hands in your pockets and save the discipline for a time when you're calm, relaxed and thinking clearly. Your kids will thank you for it. I know I've thanked my parents.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
ReplyDeleteChild buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational materials, testimony, documentation, etc. available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads- visit www.nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child,
The vast majority of professionals agree that child buttock-battering isn’t healthy. A marginal few (mostly religious fundamentalists) think that child bottom-slapping is good. They use the same selective literalist interpretation of the Bible as was used to justify “witch”-burning, depraved torture methods for those accused of sin and heresy, slavery, racism, wife-beating, oppression of women and a host of other social ills.
ReplyDeleteLet's look at this in perspective, shall we? The original blog post clearly stated that the author was not in favor of spanking as a "buttock-battering" measure. I think we're all in agreement that child-beating is wrong. So let's put all that aside.
ReplyDeleteI want to go on record as saying I've about had my fill of bratty kids who have never experienced any kind of discipline from their parents, spanking or otherwise. You don't reason with a two year old, or even a four year old. You don't "discuss" the situation with them. And you don't give them options. You are the parent, and you are the adult. Kids are running the home because the moms or dads are too afraid, too lazy, or too involved in their own lives to stand up and be parents.
The fairy tale dreams of having the perfect baby growing up into the perfect child and then the perfect adult are just that - fairy tales. Parenting is hard work. It requires constant attention and a lot of flexibility. Once you have kids, your life is no longer your own.
So do yourself a favor. Accept that your kids will not raise themselves. Accept that they need solid boundaries and effective discipline. They need you to step up to the plate and be the parent. To spank or not to spank is up to you.