Shut Your Pie Hole and Go Home

Hello and welcome to SYPH and GH from your friendly Minister of Foreign Relations and Banishment. Or my informal title may be the Minister of Go Home. Ever wonder when Canadians became "Indo-Canadians", "Chinese-Canadians", "Korean-Canadians", and "African-Canadians"? What happened to "Canadians"? As a pure "Canadian-Canadian", where do I fall into this spectrum? When did becoming a Canadian entail gaining citizenship and rights without any responsibilities? I can maintain my language, religion, culture, and beliefs and still gain all rights and privileges of being a Canadian citizen. I'm all for freedom of religion and freedom of speech - I mean come on, read the blog! But I believe in the SAME freedom for all. If I want to pray to God in the middle of a public park, I want to do that. If I want my children to bring their Bibles to school, I want them to be able to. As far as I know, Canada has two national languages. Fr...

I represent the Ministry of Religious Affairs for SYPH and GH. I am proud to be a Canadian, born and bred in a country that was founded on Christian values and godly principles. Something has happened to those values and principles in the 142 years since Confederation, however. Instead of embracing our Bible-based heritage, Canadians have come to view Christianity as old-fashioned and irrelevant. Prayer has been removed from schools. Christian literature has been banned. As a matter of fact, any reference to God or to Jesus Christ outside Christian organizations (except as profanities, of course) is considered out of line. Yet immigrants from around the world bring their religions to Canada and they are encouraged to practice the customs of their "faith" as they please. An RCMP officer can now wear a turban if it is a requirement of his religion. Oh give me a break! This makes a mockery of one of our country's oldest traditions and most recognizable uniforms in ...

CTV Olympics - Olympic protesters disrupt torch relay#olympic+protesters+disrupt+torch+relay#olympic+protesters+disrupt+torch+relay#olympic+protesters+disrupt+torch+relay#olympic+protesters+disrupt+torch+relay Hello Canada! This is the Minister of Corrections and Dismemberment. I know this doesn't fall under my jurisdiction, or maybe it does. What is with the Olympic protests? I don't get this. Are we not proud to be hosting the world at this time-honoured tradition of sport? Are we not proud to be showcasing how great of a country we live in? Oh, wait....we're too busy screaming about the money being spent, and protesting just to protest to realize that we're making our great nation look like an idiot on the world stage. Way to go! Haven't we given a thought to all the money that will be arriving in droves over the course of the Games? To the lasting legacy that the Games will leave? To our country becoming a tourist destination to people around the glob...

Allow me to introduce myself as the Minster of Adhesive Affairs. Adhesive you may say? Yes, adhesive! I, like many Canadians have an affinity toward such products. Not adhesives in general, mind you, but one in particular. Duct Tape. Yes, my friends, I supposed that you could say that I am the Minister of Duct Tape (Adhesive Affairs sounds a little more important, though, don't you think?). Why do we need a Ministry of Adhesive Affairs? Why wouldn't we need a Ministry of Adhesive Affairs. Though I consider myself no more important than my co-ministers, many of their affairs will trickle through my jurisdiction. And since I am sure you are just itching to find out why, I will tell you! My Ministry has one basic purpose, to enforce our motto of "Shut Your Pie Hole" (SYPH). If any offenders have any trouble with this, I step in. Can you see where this is going? Too many uneducated, loud-mouthed liberals can't seem to find within themselves the capability ...

Allow me to introduce myself - the Minister of Corrections and Dismemberment. A little harsh, you say? I think not. Our current system of incarceration is hardly a punishment. Three meals a day, warm bed, a free college education - all at my (a Canadian taxpayer) expense. Am I thrilled that my hard-earned dollars are being used to comfortably house criminals? Hardly. Does a warm bed, nourishing meals, and an opportunity to get an education sound like a great way to reform a criminal so that they won't become a repeat offender? I don't think so. I think some people would be more than happy to "upgrade" their way of life by becoming criminals. My solution? Offer a more efficient way of rehabilitating them. Build a road with a pick axe through the Rocky Mountains. Go work a quarter section of land in Saskatchewan. Go dig for diamonds in Nunavut. (again with a pick axe) Or for repeat sex offenders, castration. (Again, too harsh? Wouldn't you think tw...